Adventures in Africa: Stranger in a Strange Land

Traditional dress

After living here in Ethiopia for 6 months, I am still awed daily by the onslaught of cultural differences between life in the U.S. and my life here. I think I’m pretty well adjusted to the food- I’ve just about mastered the art of eating with my hands, and I actually enjoy injera and most Ethiopian foods. I’ve grown accustomed to the bathroom situation- I still pee on my feet 90% of the time, but that’s ok, I just wipe them off. I’ve embraced only bathing and washing my hair twice a week- I’m dirty and my hair is a hot mess most of the time, and I don’t even care! These physical differences between my former “normal” life and my current Ethiopian life are the things that you may think it would be difficult to adjust to, but I have found them relatively easy. What I have found most difficult is adjusting to the attitudes and different social norms that I experience in Ethiopia. It is amazing to consider how ingrained my American-ness is, and how my American brain interprets everything I see and hear using the cultural standards that I’ve lived by for my entire life. I would consider myself pretty well-traveled for a 29 year old (yep, that’s right, I’ve got 18 days left of my 20s and I’m going to enjoy my remaining youth!). I’ve been to several countries outside of the U.S., experienced, to some extent, life and culture there, so I imagined myself to be fairly well-prepared for life in Ethiopia. However, I am constantly reminded that I am still just a stranger in a strange land. Here are a few situations that still have me shaking my head. These circumstances all occur on any given day. On a good day when I am experiencing Zen-like inner peace they are simply humorous. On a day when I am frustrated, annoyed, tired, sad, or not feeling well, they are completely maddening.

“Ferengi, ferengi!” “You, you, you!” These phrases are regularly called out to me as I walk down the main road of my town. Mostly by children, which can be forgiven because it can be assumed that they just don’t know better, but when it is done by an adult, it generally infuriates me and makes me want to push the ignorant individual into on-coming traffic. The person yelling, will generally continue to shout until either I acknowledge them or until I get far enough away from them. Why people feel the need to point out that I am a ferengi (foreigner) is beyond me, but they do. They even alert their friends that they have spotted me. I like to pretend that they are saying “The ferengi is coming! The ferengi is coming!” because that makes me feel like Paul Revere, although I suppose that in this scenario that would make me the British, and that’s not the side I want to be on. Anyway, I often wonder what exactly they expect my response to their shouting to be? Do they really expect me to yell back across the street to them? That’s definitely not going to happen. I don’t typically enjoy yelling, and I’m certainly not going to draw any more attention to myself by doing so. Actually, I should mention that the calling out is typically done by young men and children. Clearly the women here are far more civilized. I would also like to point out that everyone here answers their phone by saying “hello”. Is it really too much to ask that if someone wants to get my attention, they should just say hello? I think not.

Everybody’s all up in my grill! Everywhere I go, everything I do, everybody is watching me and taking note. People will literally stop what they are doing to watch me walk by. Complete strangers find it appropriate to ask personal questions. For example, I met a guy on the road a couple days ago. He first asked me my name, he then asked what my religion was. Now that’s cutting to the chase! People also think nothing of commenting on your appearance from the shade of a person’s skin, to a person’s weight. I’ve been called fat more times than I can count. It’s getting easier not to cry when that happens. I’ve had people ask about my freckles and point out pimples. It’s so much nicer in America where people make these kinds of observations behind your back! Every day I am peppered with questions and receive unsolicited advice. Here are a few examples “Alicia, don’t sit there. Sit here.” “Alicia, why aren’t you drinking tea?” “Alicia, you look fat when you wear a skirt. You should only wear trousers.” “Alicia, talk, play.” “Alicia, why are you sweating?” “Alicia, are you sad because it’s almost Christmas?” “Why aren’t you married?” “Alicia, I want you to marry my brother.” Now some of these questions seem harmless enough, but they are incredibly annoying when I am asked them CONSTANTLY!

I’m about to drop a ‘bow on this dude! There is no such thing as personal space in Ethiopia. There is no such thing as a nice orderly line at the bank or post office or anywhere else. Everyone just shoves their way to the front without worrying about who was there first. I can be at a shop talking with the shopkeeper, asking for the things I need to buy, and somebody else will just come right up to the window and start asking for the things they want to buy. I’ve gotten into the habit of putting my elbows out and trying to block the whole window when I’m doing my banking or at the front of the line at the bank. The worst is getting onto a line taxi in Addis Ababa. Line taxis are little mini busses that run on certain routes throughout the city. There are often many people trying to get just a couple open spots on the taxi. People will run, push, and shove you out of their way. You have to be very aggressive to get a seat. Luckily since Addis is not my town, I don’t really feel the need to be nice to people!

Now the question is- are these behaviors rude? My American brain says, yes. If I was in the U.S. and somebody cut me in line at the bank, you’d better believe I would make sure that person knew how rude I

Ambo sunset

thought they were! If someone called me fat, they would absolutely get an equally insulting comment back and the dirtiest look I could muster up. Here in Ethiopia though, these behaviors are just a part of daily life. In most cases people are not intending to be rude. It takes a huge change in mindset to not get offended or upset, however that is easier said than done.

I don’t want to give Ethiopia a bad rap. There are things that are a wonderful change from American culture. Many people here are very kind and generous. One teacher from my school invites me to her house for lunch at least once or twice a week. Even people who do not have a lot are willing to share what they do have. There is an amazing sense of community among neighbors. Everybody knows each other. They celebrate together in good times and grieve together in bad times. I have to keep these things in mind when the annoyances creep in.